Be fearless with your spelling choices.

While I was cleaning up, I unearthed a story Lex had written a couple of months ago. She writes many of these stories, most recently under the pseudonym Dr. Alexa, and her teacher has pronounced her the Writing Queen. I now present to you with original spelling and punctuation "The Rain Boo Hermick Crabe," otherwise known as "The Rainbow Hermit Crab." (Please forgive me for only posting the cover and one sideways illustration. Blogger wasn't playing nicely when I was uploading pictures.)













Once a pon time, there was a rainbow hermit cerab! He livd in a rainbow shell at the botem of the sea.

This is to small said the rinbow crab!

[illustration of the crab and an octopus wearing a bow and way too much makeup]

Jets then a sharc apeart.

[illustration of a shell-less crab seeing a shark and exclaiming, "AAAA"]

The hermii crab ran into his shell

[illustration of a fish looking on as the crab heads for his shell]

And stad there intell the sharc was gon

[illustration of crab back in his shell perched on rocks]

Kermit rules.

If I had a reason to pack my lunch, this would be my lunch box:

I just took Hilarious Healthcare 101.

Scenario:
I get a phone call from my health insurance provider, so I should
a) Ignore it; it must be a useless survey.
b) Screen it before answering to see if it's actually important (like information about a requested preauthorization).
c) Answer it because hilarity could ensue.
Though I could never have imagined it before today, the correct answer is, of course, c.

Based on my filling a new prescription recently, I had been selected to receive "support" for taking my medication because, evidently, I couldn't be trusted to understand my doctors orders or to read and follow the directions on the medication bottle. The aforementioned "support" consisted of recorded messages based on my yes or no responses to what I would consider rhetorical questions. Because the questions regarding taking my medication were so inane, I remained on the line to experience the full extent of this special support.

After going through an entire script with the overly emotive recorded voice, I was asked a final question: "Was this information helpful?" I truthfully responded "yes" because sometimes laughter is indeed the best medicine. I was then told, "Okay, we are done now. Goodbye."

Lesson learned: I should look forward to phone calls from my health insurance company because no one should pass up an opportunity to be entertained.